Investor Relations · parody
$SWAG
EBITDAswag Inc. (imaginary). Ticker: $SWAG. Not a security. Not a solicitation. Mostly a joke with a chart.
Forward-looking statements: none of this is audited, including the hat. This page is parody.
Market data · fake
Joke ticker
Last
$42.0
Change
+4.20%
Volume
Compliments
Beta
Visor weather
Prices delayed by forever. Pegged loosely to how funny you find dad hats.
Q&A · fabricated
Earnings call transcript (excerpt)
Operator: Welcome to EBITDAswag Q4. Reminder: this call may be recorded, embroidered, or both.
CSO (Nicholas): Thanks. Highlights: Mexico compliment velocity remains robust. Adjusted EBITDA — and I want to be precise — is still a hat.
Analyst: Can you quantify the tote bag TAM?
CSO: Anyone who has ever carried a laptop and a cold brew. Next question.
Analyst: Guidance on stickers?
CSO: We’re testing Printful die-cut at a retail $8. Early signal is “people put them on water bottles.” We’ll circle back.
Operator: That concludes the joke portion of today’s call.
Outlook
Guidance
- Revenue: TBD (pre-launch). Humor: raised.
- Gross margin: Expanding (white space on shirts).
- OpEx: Mostly coffee and embroidery experiments.
- Dividend: None. Please buy a mug instead.