Human
Nicholas
Founder & Chief Swag Officer
Bought a custom EBITDA visor, wore it in Mexico, got stopped by strangers, decided the TAM was “anyone who has sat through an earnings call.”
Form 10-Joke · FY parody
About EBITDAswag
A mock investor deck for a company that sells finance humor on cotton. The origin story is real. The KPIs below are a bit.
Forward-looking statements: none of this is audited, including the hat.
KPIs below are a bit. Compliments in Mexico were real; “Adjusted EBITDA: Hat + attitude” is not a GAAP line item.
Product prices, sizes, and shipping windows elsewhere on the site are honest Printful-launch placeholders — still not financial advice.
Item 1
Company Overview
EBITDAswag designs premium merch for people who say “circle back” without irony. We started with one custom black visor embroidered EBITDA. Strangers kept complimenting it in Mexico. That was the product-market signal. Everything else is embroidery and jokes.
Compliments from strangers in Mexico
“Too many”
Unaudited · joke metric
Visors sold vs. forecast
TBD / Optimistic
Joke · pre-launch
EBITDA
On a hat
Also a joke
Adjusted EBITDA
Hat + attitude
Still a joke
Customer acquisition cost
One good story
Joke
NPS
“Where’d you get that?”
Qualitative · joke
Item 1A
Mission Statement
To operationalize cross-functional synergies across the apparel value chain while leveraging best-in-class embroidery to deliver shareholder-adjacent vibes and best-in-class stranger compliments — at scale, but chill.
Translation: Make finance people laugh. Ship soft tees. Never give financial advice.
Field research · Mexico (real trip, real compliments)
Item 10 · Directors and gag officers
Leadership Team
One real human. Everyone else is merch with a title. No fake headshots of invented people.
Merch
The Original Visor
Chairman of the Board
Silent. Decisive. Looks good in golden hour. Votes present on all matters.
Merch
15oz White Mug
Chief Financial Officer
Controls the liquid assets. Strong opinions on recurring revenue (coffee).
Culture
Stranger Compliments
Head of Growth
Our only proven acquisition channel. Organic. Unpaid. Slightly awkward.
Culture deck · slide 47
Our Values
Synergy
When the tee matches the hat and nobody planned it.
Transparency
We tell you it’s a joke when it’s a joke. Prices are real.
Margin
White space on the shirt. Room in the embroidery hoop.
Circle back
We will email you. Eventually. Like a real company.
No advice
Not financial advice. Not tax advice. Not dating advice from the Cap Table tee.
Soft cotton
If it isn’t soft, it doesn’t ship. (Bella+Canvas 3001, for the record.)
History
From beach compliment to glossary
- T−1The visor exists. Custom black Flexfit with white EBITDA. One traveler. One beach.
- MexicoStrangers intervene. Multiple unsolicited compliments. Product-market fit without a landing page.
- Mockup eraEBITDAswag.com takes shape. Tees, hats, mugs, The Glossary, ROI & ROAS sub-collection.
- NextPrintful + Shopify. Real inventory that isn’t inventory — print on demand. You’re early.
Use of Proceeds · joke chart
Where the money goes (hypothetically)
Not a real raise. If we sold a mythical unit of “proceeds,” the pie would look like this:
- 40% — More embroidery experiments
- 25% — Coffee (CFO-approved)
- 15% — Mexico research trips
- 10% — Glossary R&D
- 10% — “Synergies”
Item 1A · Risk Factors
Risk Factors
Fine print. Mostly jokes. Still not financial advice.
- Humor risk. Some people do not find finance funny. Those people still need coffee mugs.
- Trademark risk. We screen phrases quickly; we are not your lawyer. Clearance is on you if you file anything.
- POD risk. Print-on-demand means we can’t ship yesterday. Typical US window ~3–7 business days once live.
- Compliment risk. Wearing our merch may cause strangers to talk to you. Proceed with social courage.
- Advice risk. Nothing on this site is investment, tax, or career advice. Buy the hat because it’s funny.
Call to action
Open a position.
Start with the Original Visor, dive the Glossary, or gift a deal team something that isn’t a branded stress ball.
