ADJUSTED EBITDA
Earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, amortization, and accountability.
Dad Hat
$34
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Reference · Humor-adjusted
The Glossary
Finance terms, defined (badly).
54 entries. Zero fiduciary duty. Tap a term to shop it — or add it straight to your portfolio.
54 entries
A
ASK ME ABOUT MY MULTIPLES
A social opener that ends friendships and starts term sheets.
Tee
$34
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ASK ME ABOUT MY MULTIPLES
A social opener that ends friendships and starts term sheets.
Dad Hat
$34
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ATTRIBUTION THEATER
Where every channel claims the conversion and none claim the refund.
Tee
$34
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B
BLEND
What you report when platform ROAS gets too optimistic.
Dad Hat
$34
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BOARD-APPROVED NAP
The only resolution that passes unanimously.
Tee
$34
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BPS
Tiny units used to make large feelings sound precise.
Visor
$38
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C
CAC
Customer acquisition cost; measured in dollars and dignity.
Visor
$38
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CAC IS A LIFESTYLE
Collecting customers the way others collect stamps.
Tee
$34
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CAP TABLE FOR TWO
Romance with better vesting schedules.
Tee
$34
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CIRCLE BACK
To postpone a decision until everyone has forgotten who asked.
Dad Hat
$34
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COFFEE IS MY RECURRING REVENUE
ARR, but for the kitchen.
Mug
$24
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D
DEAL FATIGUE
When the CIM starts looking back at you.
Mug
$24
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DON'T CARE, FRIDAY
Discounted cash flow, but emotionally accurate.
Tee
$34
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DRY POWDER
Unspent capital; also excellent ski conditions.
Visor
$38
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F
FCF
Free cash flow; also “finally, credible figures.”
Dad Hat
$34
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FULLY DILUTED
How you feel after happy hour and before the cap table update.
Tee
$34
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G
GOING CONCERN
Still operating; also still eating cold pizza at 11pm.
Tee
$34
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GROSS MARGIN GANG
A crew that requires contribution margin for membership.
Tee
$34
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H
HAIRCUT
A polite markdown; rarely involves scissors.
Dad Hat
$34
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HOCKEY STICK GROWTH
A chart shape that appears whenever the board asks for ambition.
Tee
$34
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I
IRR-ESISTIBLE
A return profile that makes otherwise rational people lose weekends.
Tee
$34
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L
LBO
Buying a company with its own money and calling it strategy.
Dad Hat
$34
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LET'S TAKE THIS OFFLINE
Let’s continue this where Slack can’t screenshot it.
Mug
$24
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LEVERAGED
Using other people’s money; also your personality after two coffees.
Dad Hat
$34
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LTV > CAC
The only math that gets you another quarter of runway.
Tee
$34
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M
MARGIN EXPANSION
What Q4 holiday cookies do to your waistband and your P&L.
Tee
$34
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MoM
Month-over-month; preferred direction: up.
Visor
$38
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MOVE FAST AND BREAK COVENANTS
Silicon Valley energy applied to the credit agreement.
Tee
$34
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MY BURN RATE IS CAFFEINE
Unit economics for people who invoice in espresso shots.
Mug
$24
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MY ROI IS COFFEE
Best-performing asset in the break room.
Mug
$24
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N
NON-RECURRING
A one-time item that somehow appears every quarter.
Tee
$34
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NOT PROFITABLE, JUST HAPPY
GAAP can wait. Vibes cannot.
Tee
$34
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O
OOO
Out of office; occasionally out of excuses.
Visor
$38
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P
PER MY LAST EMAIL
Polite corporate for “I already told you this.”
Mug
$24
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PIPELINE LOOKS FINE
Said every Monday. Audited every Friday.
Mug
$24
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PIVOT
To change direction while insisting you meant to.
Dad Hat
$34
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PRE-REVENUE
Post-vibes, pre-invoices, fully funded by narrative.
Tee
$34
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PROFIT TAKING
Locking in gains before the narrative changes.
Dad Hat
$34
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Q
QUIET PERIOD
A legally enforced mute button with worse vibes.
Mug
$24
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R
ROAS BEFORE BROS
Loyalty ranked by attribution windows.
Tee
$34
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ROAS IS UP. I'M DOWN BAD.
Two truths of every performance marketer.
Tee
$34
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ROI
Three letters that end every budget conversation.
Dad Hat
$34
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ROI-AL FAMILY
Blood is thicker than CAC.
Tee
$34
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ROUNDING ERROR
Any expense you don’t want to explain; also your last raise.
Tee
$34
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RUN RATE
December numbers wearing a January tuxedo.
Dad Hat
$34
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S
SANDBAGGING
Underpromising so hard it becomes a sport.
Dad Hat
$34
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SEND THE DECK
Three words that end meetings and begin regret.
Mug
$24
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SHOW ME THE CASH FLOW
What every CFO whispers instead of “I love you.”
Mug
$24
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SHOW ME THE ROI
The ask that survives every reorg.
Mug
$24
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T
THIS COFFEE IS CAPEX
When you capitalize the caffeine and expense the sleep.
Mug
$24
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THIS MEETING COULD'VE BEEN A SPREADSHEET
Calendar revenge in ceramic form.
Mug
$24
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U
UNPROFITABLE ON PURPOSE
Not a bug. The roadmap.
Tee
$34
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W
WILL WORK FOR CARRY
Compensation strategy of the chronically optimistic.
Tee
$34
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Nothing in this sleeve of the dictionary.